Where are the real fathers?

[Crystal B.]

Im a 14 y.o. girl and none of my friends have dads living with them. Either moms got some dude staying in the crib who dont work or dads locked or dads just not around basically. its mad hard to get by without a dad. Girls be letting boys do w/e with them because theres no dad to scare em away or teach us whats good. I aint had no dad since I was 3. Moms said he was fresh outta jail when they met and then got locked again when I was 3. SHe dont let me write him or nothing. Everytime she get a new boyf she acts like hes sposed to be my daddy like I know him and I dont be knowing these dudes and She dont really be knowing them neither. I just want a dad like what I see on TV. Raven got her dad. Hanna Montana got her own dad. Wheres mine? Wheres all the dads out here?

[ZooT]

There are real great fathers, and being one it hurts to see anyone without one. My dad died last jan 2, and he taught me how to be A father, and unconditional love. I have A real close friend I known since high school with 3 kids. Her husband died Because he picked drugs over his kids. They were getting divorced, but he left behind an 11 year old girl, 5 boy and 3. I don't know how many fri nights she asked me to watch her kids, and that's all she has too do. Her daughter one day asked me to do her hair because she always wanted her dad to. As soon as she said that tears started rolling down my face. I was real cool with her dad too. I did the worse job on her hair, and she acted like she liked it. I just feel real bad right now, but the thing is......You can't change it, and it will affect you your whole life, but you could still DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. It makes you know less of A person, and you could help other people without them too. I'm In debt right now because I fought for joint custody, others are in debt for not taking care of them.

[Hru Unikh Ra Atum Imhotep Atn Ra]

Peace and Blessings to you li'l sista. I know how you feel. My father left shortly after I was born. I went through several male figures in my life but none was dad. I pay homage to my deceased uncle who was a true father figure in my life and gave me the values that I grew up with. I never wanted to be like my father because he was always chasing women and not taking care of me. He married two other women after my mom. His last wife is deceased and he's dating another woman who's 45 now. I promised myself when I was a little boy that I would always be in my children's life if I ever had any. I went searching for my dad with some of my friends on our bikes when I was 9yrs old. I was determined to find my dad and I found him after knocking on several doors in an apartment complex where I thought he might be staying. Call this divine intervention. Well, I got married at age 18 because the sista I was with got pregnant and I didn't want my child calling someone else daddy. I got into a big argument with my father when I told him I was getting married. He really talked down to me and told me I didn't know what I was doing. I dated my ex-wife for 2yrs before we got married and stayed married for 9yrs., this was longer than my dad was ever married. So I think I did quite well even though he wasn't in my life. My ex-wife was very promiscuous and the children and I were interfering in her lifestyle. So she said to me. And she vowed not to pay child support when we were in court to see who would get custody of the children. The judge granted me custody because of my cooperation with the child support investigation and my stability. She walked out of my life and left me with 4 children. At the time, her daughter by another man, the oldest age 10, my oldest daughter age 8, youngest daughter age 6, and my son age 4. I returned the oldest child to her mother by police force because my ex-wife claimed I kidnapped her, although the court gave me custody of all the children. i merely didn't want my step daughter to go back to her mom because I knew her mom wouldn't take care of her properly. But I had no choice but to return her. That was one of the saddest days of my life. I feared for my stepdaughter's safety but I didn't want to go to jail and leave my children fatherless. I highly respect the sista that I ended up dating because she excepted me and my children but it became too burdensome for her over time. I had to leave a $60k a year as an Environmental Scientist to raise my children. That job kept on the road a lot and my children were too much for my girlfriend to handle. So I ended up raising my children for 15yrs without any phone calls, letters or any kind of support from their mother. She's still in the arrears for over $120,000 and never went to jail. Trust me it was hell! My oldest daughter was the splitting image of her mother and was my problem child. She ran away at age 16yrs. old several times and ended up pregnant. At the same time, my youngest daughter began misbehaving a lot and ended up pregnant at age 14. My son was is my golden child even though he gets a little lazy at times but he's good. So in addition to raising my children I also began raising two grandsons. Wow! How I did it? I give thanks to the creator for blessing me with the mind to want to do right in life and the values my uncle, great grandmother, grandmother, mom and aunt raised me on. My children are all grown now, 23, 21, and 19. My oldest daughter has a daughter now. So I have 3 grandchildren now. My oldest daughter found her older sister on myspace and made a connection with her and her mom. And would you believe, their mother is still playing childish games, lying and not taking anytime to get to know her children or grandchildren. Pitiful!!! Nonetheless, I've taken care of my responsibilities and held onto the promise I made to myself, to always be there for my children no matter what. So to answer your question, Where are the real fathers, you're looking at one. Check my myspace page www.myspace.com/hruunikh and read the poem I wrote called "Real Fathers". I wrote it back in 1995 and made it into a rap song. I pray that you reunite with your real father one day but it won't be the same as having a daddy in your life. Still, try to find love in your heart and give him a chance to show you from the present how much he really loves you. Stay strong li'l sis! Stay blessed! And most of all, stay sacred!

[Anabela]

This is is simply heartbreaking!! And as a mother, I only pray none of my children will ever feel this way.